In this guide I’m going to explain to the best of my abilities how to text girls on Tinder and other dating apps. These tips are based on what I learned by texting a lot of girls on dating apps, getting on a lot of dates and getting laid quite a bit using these apps.
What are you Trying to Achieve When Texting Girls on Tinder
The main goal is to take the girl from point A which is the opener to point B which is getting a date with her preferably under a sexual pretense.
When you are bringing girls from point A to point B you should ideally also sexualize the conversation and build rapport and comfort.
The better you are at texting girls on dating apps, the less “work” you’re going to have to do when you meet with them in person and the more results you are going to have when using dating apps.
How to Open Girls on Dating Apps
Girls are bombarded by messages on dating apps. Most of the messages they get are very generic and are mostly related to something they put in their bio.
The key thing about opening girls on dating apps is to be a bit more original than the other guys and to use texts that are easy to respond to while also setting the convo in the “right tracks”.
Your main goal when opening a girl is simply to get a response back.
Here are Is a list of do’s and don’ts when opening girls on dating apps
Do’s
-Keep your message short and succinct
-Use texts that are easy to respond to
-Comment on something unique about the girl’s pictures, for example if she’s wearing glasses in one of her pictures maybe comment on that
-Include a sexual element or tone to the opener when it is possible to do so without sounding creepy
Don’ts
-Use super long messages
-Use cheesy pick up lines
-Over complicate things
-Go super sexual right of the bat (with some exceptions)
-Make it seem like you’re trying super hard
-Over qualify yourself to the girl
Example of Good Openers
Example of Bad Openers
Openers I use the Most
-If the girl wears a pair of glasses in some of her pictures : “i like your sexy nerd glasses”, “nice glasses“…
-If the girls has very few pictures and has no description “hello mysterious girl“
-If the girl has a sexy outfit in one of her pictures : “I like your red dress“, “you look nice in that <specific piece of clothing she’s wearing“…
-If the girl is smiling in one of her pics : “I like your cute smile“, “I like your sexy smile“…
-If she is hispanic : “hola linda!“
-If she has pictures of her at the gym : “Hi fitness girl”
-If I have no inspiration : “hey trouble“, “hi potential lover“
You got a Response to the Opener now What?
When a girl responds to your opener there are three things that must come to your mind :
–Vibing and building rapport, which is pretty much getting to know you stuff ideally mixed with a bit of humor and good storytelling to make the conversation more engaging
–Flirting and sexualizing the convo
–Moving things forward, which means that you’re actively leading the conversation towards a meetup/date.
There is no pre established script that will successfully do all those three things perfectly.
You want to be doing these three things kind of at the same time.
Every time you send a text you should be doing at least one of these 3 things.
Here are some examples of me successfully doing either one of these three things on dating apps
Handling Objections
When you will move things forward you will inevitably face objections with some girls.
If you’ve done sales like me, you probably understand that, just when selling something to someone, an objection is a smoke screen for uncertainty that is related to something specific that needs to be addressed before you can move things forward.
There are some things that can be addressed like a specific concern that a girl has and there are some things that unfortunately cannot be addressed like for example if the girl has no intention in meeting with you.
Anyhow this is how to handle most objections.
General Guidelines on Handling Objections
Just like in sales when you’re handling an objection there are mainly 4 things you want to be doing :
-Show some empathy and/or show that you understand the situation/concern
-Dig to the root of the issue, find out what is really bothering her
-Reframe and/or question the objection/assumption
-Move on to the next step
Example of Common Objections and how to Handle Them
I initially though that I would include some of my own examples like the ones shown before, but I found the perfect youtube video in that regards
How to Close Optimally
Let’s say a girl responded to you opener and you’ve successfully managed to vibe and flirt with her, you’ve successfully moved things forward and maybe at the same time handled her objections, then now comes the time to “close the deal”.
This may not be common sense for some of you but, just like in sales, being able to close the deal is arguably the most important step because, if you do it wrong you can fuckup all the work you’ve done before.
General Steps When Closing
-Make her agree with the general idea of meeting up with you, like for example by sending a text like :”we should for sure meet sometime soon”, “we should definitely share a bottle of wine sometime soon”, “we should go on a romantic walk”…
-Figure out when both of you are free, you can do so by sending texts like “what’s your schedule like this week”, “are you free friday night or this weekend”…
-When you find out when both of you are free, set up the date at a specific time and place and handle the logistics. My preference is to setup the date at a parc near my place or to go have a walk near my place. When i do that I generally mention to the girl I’m texting that we’ll probably go to my place aftewards and have a drink/watch netflix.
Key Things to Keep in Mind When Closing
-the more she agrees with you and the more she invests in the convo, the more likely she will be to follow through
-if you know how to close, you can invite the girl straight to your place or mention that you’re probably going to end up at your place later during the date
-be willing to reschedule if she can’t make it for some reason
-if you’ve scheduled plans for more than 3 days following the last time you spoke by text, it’s a good idea to re-engage the convo to keep it “warm” and not let it go cold.
-if a girl is difficult to make plans with or if she flakes or has a habit (keyword being habit) of canceling or rescheduling last minute, do not hesitate to address it (in a calm and non butthurt way).
Examples on how to Close Girls
General Tips and Rules When Texting Girls
-Don’t use too much emojis
-Don’t take forever to ask the girl out on a date
-Reply quickly if possible. Most girls do not spend that much time on dating apps, and generally you want the texting to be “done” as soon as possible
-Take your time when texting. It’s ok to not text right away and put some thinking before each text
-Sexualize the convo in a progressive and smooth way. Generally speaking, going from 0 to 100 is not a good idea
-In general try to send texts that are short and succint and that are likely to lead the convo where you want (towards a date, or a sexual topic)
-You don’t have to be perfect, it’s ok if you screw up some interactions
-Don’t use cheesy pickup lines, they tend to make girl’s pussy as dry as the fucking sahara desert!
-The general vibe you want to give is that your are a normal/cool dude who is confident, somewhat sexual, and who leads things forward
-If a girl doesn’t reply to a text, it’s ok to re-engage the convo, just wait a day or two so you don’t look “thirsy”
